FEB 94: MEETING FRANK

Before the Maynes and I arrived at the Stockshow Cindy told me about a gentleman named Frank with FA whom I would be meeting there! She said he was one of the most determined and amazing people she had ever met! (I agree) Frank did not appear to be someone interested in going to a Stockshow. He was an Italian guy, originally from New York, with a heavy accent, and tattoos. He was wearing a tank top with a pair of loudly colored MC Hammer pants (I have heard them called weight lifting pants before). Hey, give the man a break for it was the early 90’s, and I hear they are very comfortable! (A couple of years to go Sara, Frank, and I were talking and we were laughing at him always wearing those types of pants back in the day! He just shook his head and said “What was I thinking?" LOL) Frank was already in a wheelchair, and in his early 30’s. Frank had a late onset of FA. So he did not begin to see signs until he was about 19, and he officially was not diagnosed until his mid-20s. FA does not discriminate on age, or race.

Here is a picture of Frank and I. I am not exactly sure when this photo was taken, but long ago.

Frank quickly became my mentor. I would look to him for advice as he could understand me better than anyone else. He had a good sense of humor and a very quick witt! He was (and still is) an amazing individual with a good head on his uncoordinated shoulders! He was living on his own in a beautiful home, with a wonderful job, and driving himself everywhere. He was very big into exercising and staying fit (did you see the dudes arms in that picture, hello!). He was the President for Disability Sports of North Texas. Was riding a hand bike (New York marathon 2x and tons of others), playing Bocce Ball and playing tennis. He probably did more than just those because you name it and he did it. He also participated in the Paralympics. He was doing all of these things from a wheelchair not to mention while having FA! FA is not in a easy disability to categorize because it is hard to figure out areas that would make it fair for us as far as the Paralympics go. Traveling while having FA is no easy task but Frank did not let that get in his way for he traveled not only with work, fun, but also for the Paralympics team. What an inspiration he was to me!

Besides going to the Stockshow together we did a lot of things together. I will mention a couple of them for they are funny.

Sometime in March 1994 Frank called me to ask me if I would like to see the site's along with his brother and best friend from New York as they were in town. He said that his brother and best friend would be there to help push us in our chairs and stuff. They were going to Dallas and I had not been yet. I thought the world of Frank so I knew I would get along well with his brother and best friend. His brother Mike was a New York cop and so was his best friend Louie (who was also a volunteer fireman, woo hoo!) So when they came to pick me up I was of course a little intimidated to be around all these NY Cops. Louie drove Frank’s van while Frank sat in the passenger's seat while Mike and I sat in the back. It did not take long for me to warm up to these guys. They were cracking me up they were so funny. So we went to the Dallas West End and walk/rolled around there with all the shops and different places. We were all getting hungry at that point, so the guys decided they wanted to go to Hooters. I was outnumbered and not going to argue so I just had to grin and bear it!! I had the best hot ham and cheese sandwich I had ever eaten so I was not complaining. Since we left in the early afternoon I knew that I'd better go to the bathroom while I'm there. So I asked the waitress if she could show me where the restroom was. We went in the restroom, and I got a little nervous. There was nobody else in the restroom!! So ladies if you are ever out and about and need to go to the restroom really bad and want to go somewhere where you know there's no lines…Hooters is the place to go! The waitress was so nice, for at that time I did not need any assistance in the restroom but she said she would wait with me just in case I needed anything. That meant more to me than my awesome hot him and cheese sandwich! When I came back to the table Louie had spilled his drink and Frank and I just laughed and laughed saying how we should be the ones to spill the drink! From there we went to see the Dallas Stars hockey game. It was great! I only watch hockey when it is life for I love the excitement of the crowd. I spent the whole day with these guys and did not stop laughing.

It has been quite a while since I have seen Mike or Louie in anything other than pictures. The both of them were not harmed during 9/11, which is a big blessing! They both have family’s now and are doing great!

The other story I wanted to share with you happened in September of 1994. Frank and I were chatting on the phone when he mentioned that he had been trying all day to get Metallica tickets. I told him that I liked that group and they were the only heavy metal group I did like. He had a hard time believing that of me to even like any heavy metal group. So he called me back a little later to invite me a long to the concert with him and one of his friends. He probably thought I would gracefully bow down from taking the ticket, but I accepted! I was all excited. I did my best on trying to look older. When David and Frank arrived I got in the van, and off we went. The concert was at the Starplex in Dallas and the closer we got the more congested the traffic became. Even though we parked in a handicapped accessible parking place there was still aways to roll to get inside the stadium. David was trying to push Frank and I so that we you would be quicker! Poor guy, I am sure he worked up a sweat! As we reached the gate Frank told me he to open at my purse for the security. I was all taken back by that for that had never happened to me before. I felt a little violated, but did not blame them because of where we were. As we got to the stadium I felt like all of us crips had some of the best seating! We were sitting right behind the reserve seating. There was a ramp to get up to it, so we were taller than everybody else. It was awesome! But the only problem was that people would try to climb up on our turf to get to the reserve seating. There were security guards all up in our business trying to stop the squatters! ARGH! I know I got some second hand Mary Jane smoke if know what I'm saying!! There were several opening groups but we missed half of them and the other half I do not recall. When Metallica got on the stage it was like the whole floor was vibrating. There was no way I could talk to anybody not even between sets because my ears were ringing. I loved it. We left a couple of songs before they did their encore so we could try to get the heck outta Dodge before everyone else did. As we were leaving the parking lot we had our windows rolled down, and we could hear them playing "Enter Sandman". It was a experience and a half. And I was glad I got to experience it with Frank. Not only is he a funny guy but any time you get two people with FA together there will always be something to funny to talk about!

Around that time we also went see the movie "Forrest Gump" in the theater with our friend Marjorie. It is one of my favorite movies! And that's all I have to say about that:)

I still see Frank time to time. A year ago he got married to a wonderful and sweet woman named Jacqueline. I had the privilege of meeting her this weekend in their beautiful new home. The picture below was taken of us then. Look how much shorter I am compared to Frank! I know it is his power wheelchair for it is taller, but it makes me laugh.

He still has the same wonderful job that he did when I met him! I am very proud of Frank for several years ago he got his master's degree online. He is a very hard worker. Frank has had some health issues, but that has not slowed him down. He is no longer driving. Several years ago he was diagnosed with having diabetes. Diabetes is a common symptom for people with FA. It is under control, although he has to give himself shots of insulin twice a day and watch what he eats. He had a couple of other health issues. But it is all OK now. He is working all the time and has started back to riding his bike. He uses a Hoyer lift for most of his transfers now. Doing the same things it is not easy as they were before. And as he says if you don't use it you will lose it. I myself have proof of that!

Frank is a very special person in my life. There will never be anyone else like him. I know he has been through some hard times personally, emotionally, and physically. When I saw him this past weekend he told me that he has never been happier! I could not be more thrilled for him as he deserves it! He is still an inspiration to me!

Do you have someone in your life that has been a mentor, or someone you have looked up to that you would like to share? I would love to hear.

Thanks for taking the time to read, Miss S

FEB. 94- MY FIRST OUTING, AND THE MAYNES!!! [edit]

It was my first week of being in Ft. Worth as I began to wonder who I would meet, and what new places I would venture to find. When all of the sudden I received a phone call from a lady named Cindy who had two children with FA!! She also headed the support group for people with FA in the area. She had gotten my number from the MDA in Ft. Worth. She was very excited to meet me and to have me meet her daughter for she was about 4 1/2 years younger than me! Dealing with the rarity of FA it is hard to find someone around your age, and we lived really close to each other. She asked me if I would like to join them at the Fort Worth Stockshow that weekend. I was excited. My first weekend in Ft. Worth and I already had plans! Cindy told me that her daughter was having a hard time accepting FA. Like me, she was diagnosed around the same time I was and was not in a wheelchair at the time. Cindy's youngest son Adam also had FA. He was still physically active. When they came to pick me up they all came inside to meet my family. They were all so nice and I instantly fell in love with them. As we got to the Stock show we ended up meeting (Cindy called him to come) another gentleman with FA there! His name was Frank and I will share about him in the next post. Meeting three FA'ers in one night, I could hardly believe it!

Below is a pic of the Mayne fam and I. They also have an older daughter that is not pictured. She was not around alot. I did know her though. This pic was not taken the day of the Stockshow.

The Maynes had become my second family. My mom, dad, and I started attending the support group meetings, and then I gained even more friends w/ FA!! I was always spending time at their house. Sara and I began spending quit bit of time together. She reminded me a lot of myself and we could totally relate to one another. I would look at her and sometimes get sad because I knew the road ahead of her would be rough for my FA was more progressed. Although she was more of an introvert she had no problem with the boys!!! Cindy told me once that Sara said she felt like I was her sister. That brought tears to my eyes. Sara, Cindy, and I were always spending time together whether it would be shopping, going out to eat, or going to the movies. One day we surprised Sara at the movies by watching "With Honors" starring Brandon Fraiser. He could butter her popcorn anytime! It is a really good movie if you have not seen it I do recommend it! We shared so many laughs together. Sara was attending a Christian High School about five minutes away from my house. I had gone over there on several occasions to have lunch with her. I even sat in on a couple of her classes. She was so much smarter than I was for she was taking trigonometry which I never even took in College!! Not too long after she turned 16 she began driving. She also used hand controls like I did. One night we decided that we were bored and would take a trip to Blockbuster to rent a movie. Sarah drove her car and I sat in the passenger seat. She somehow managed to shove my wheelchair into the passenger side back seat, and then go around to the driver's side back seat to put her walker in there. Looking back on it all I just shake my head! When she graduated from high school she also walked across the stage to get her diploma! I cried, I was so happy. Soon after that she also became wheelchair-bound. Cindy passed away after a long battle with cancer in 1999:( That was very hard. Sara also graduated from college With Honors! She got married, which she tells me is still hard to believe that someone could love her because of her FA. (I definitely understand, as a single woman I struggle with that about any man all the time.) She always wanted two children and that is what she got. I was around when the first one was little. I do not know how she managed to care for him due to her FA while her husband worked, but she did it! There was nothing easy about it. I know she has a helper with the second one. They are both really cute kids. During one of our conversations Sarah and I said how cool it would be to be able to progress backwards with FA! There is still one more thing that I will share with you in a couple of posts that I did with them!

I am still close with Sara, although she now lives in Georgia with her husband and two children. Her children are showing no signs of FA at this point! The pic on the right was taken in Feb. of this year as they were on the train and headed to the circus:) This is one of my fave pics of them. Nathan is on the right and will be heading off to kindergarten in the Fall. I cannot believe it! He is so smart. Annie is 2, need I say more! She is a very content little girl. Sara’s brother Adam is attending college. Their dad is now remarried to a wonderful woman and doing well!

Thank you for taking the time to read, Miss S

OCT. 93-JAN. 94: HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

Sorry for the delay, I have been under the weather for the past several weeks.

My family and I had known since the summer that there would be a big possibility that we would be moving to either Topeka Kansas or Ft. Worth Texas, because of my dad’s job transferring in the near future. We were all hoping for Ft. Worth Texas because of the weather, and the fact that we had cousins who lived in Ft. Worth that we would visit there every other year. So we were familiar with that area better. By the end of the summer we knew that Ft. Worth was going to be where we hung our hat! My dad started his job there in October while my Mom and I got things in order at our home in Tulsa. He stayed with our cousins during the week, and would make trips home on the weekends. Except for the times when Mom and him were house hunting. Some of my friends would tease me about going to Texas with the songs "She came from Ft. Worth" from Kathy Mattea (I was given this CD as a going away present) or "All my exes live in Texas" by George Strait.

Getting our house ready to sale was a chore and a half. My parents had lived there over 21 years so there was more then one junk drawer if you know what I'm saying! We had several paint parties. My Aunt made beautiful new curtains for our kitchen (w/a sewing machine), and a friend reposted a built in the kitchen area we had. Our house was looking nicer than it was before so I was saddened we were having to leave it! As Christmas time came we did not even bother getting out the tree or ornaments because we were packing them. I had to pack all of my belongings in to a suitcase, I was so sad. Where we lived at in Tulsa there was not a lot of opportunity there. You had to go across the river to get to a mall or anything. I was ready to see what was new, but at the same time this was all I ever knew.

My mom and dad went house hunting several times while they were there. They told us where they would to go in the houses, and see if the bathroom door could be enlarged. If not, they would look no further at that house. They finally came across a house where not only the bathroom door could be enlarged but that was able to easily get in the garage door. Of course we had to have the home close to my dad worked. We actually found a house close to just about everything. It was great. So, all in all I was excited for the fresh start to Ft. Worth. I was not going to be leaving anything bad behind just ready for the new possibilities.

As we were set to leave I just could not get in my last goodbye. It was very hard. My cousin, my brother, my grandmother, even my neighbors across the street. My Aunt had driven her truck with I in the passengers seat, my Uncle was driven the U-Haul truck., my Mom had driven her SUV, and my Dad had driven my car. It was so funny because my Aunt and I were behind the U-Haul truck that my Uncle was driven, and it hit the curb. My uncle was a professional truck driver. My Aunt and I had the biggest laugh about that. That started off the trip on a good note. It did not seem to take as long to get their. We got things unloaded in good time. One of our neighbors was from Muskogee. Small world and he helped us. Upon settling things in the first thing was getting the bathroom accessible for me. Our cousins who lived here had a neighbor who did construction work. So Paul came over to widen the bathroom door. Their daughter’s husband (still our cousin) knew of a person who could install & make bathroom bars in the shower and by the commode. Besides widening the bathroom door Paul also lowered the closet rail so that I could reach it. All of that was done in about two days. Things were beginning to look more homey than they had in the past couple of days.

I normally do not deal with change very well at all, and that was the thing that made me scared. Have you ever read the book, "Who Moved My Cheese?" By Spencer Johnson, M.D.? If not I highly recommend it as it shows an amazing way to deal with change in your life.

Thank you for taking the time to read, Miss S.

OCT 93 TO JAN 94- SAYING GOODBYES

As I mentioned in the previous post that my Dads job was transferring to Ft. Worth Texas. Of course, the hardest part of it all would be leaving my family and friends in Oklahoma. So I made it my mission to spend time with them. I was seeing everybody I could possibly see. I was not sure when I would be able to make it up that way. My college and career class at church threw me a surprise goodbye party. That surprised me! Shon (a friend from summer camp) and I went to the hospital to see my good friend Mel on Christmas day (hey Mel, remember that?). Their were lots of others I saw as well. It would take forever to mention them all, and you would get very bored reading them. Though one of my goodbyes sticks out in my mind. I was not being a very good role model in this story, but it is in my dash! I live with no regrets, God forgives, and it is funny!! You will see why as you read below!

Throughout my teenage years my cousin Syl and I began to get close. She is six years older than I, and it just was not cool to hang out with the little one. Although she loved playing dress up with me as though I was her little doll. She would make me go downstairs, and show me off to the rest of the family at holidays! She still loved doing that. When we are together she is always doing my hair and makeup! Every time we are together something crazy happens! Check out my post in the February 2007 archives titled: Can you say embarrassing?

So the plan was to have a goodbye bash. One of our friends Lisa, and Syl decided to take me to their regular hangout at a heavy metal club called Windjammer (they shut down a couple of years after this) in Tulsa. It was 18 and over, so no problem right? We had this scheduled for a while. About a week before our venture the club decided to only cater to those 21 and over. What were we going to do? Lisa and Syl definitely passed, but my 19 year old butt would be left outside. After much deliberation we did what we knew how. First of all, Lisa (she knows everybody) knew the club owner, and asked him if it would be okay if she brought a friend who was in a wheelchair, but only had a birth certificate (BC) for ID. She also told him that I was moving away. So he not only said yes to me coming, but also said that he would buy my drinks all night! So we had that covered, now all we had to do is get a BC of someone who is at least 21! I do not know how, but Syl got her sister’s (thanks De!) BC from her Mom! The problem then was that De was 24. Even on my best day it was hard to look 16 let alone 24! Lisa and Syl came over to my house and gave me a head to toe makeover in an attempt to make me look legal!! (For those of you know me now it is hard to make me look legal at 33! I was still offered kiddy menus at 30!) Lisa and I were around the same size, and she brought me this black tight one-piece outfit that zipped up the middle to wear. Now I know what you are thinking, yes I could have very well been in the theatrical performance of Cats!! To spice things up a little I wore a pink flowered silky and black lacy bra. We unzipped the outfit just enough to show the bra and a little cleavage. We did not want to give everything away!! I wore black leather pumps that I had, as my shoe style did not matter because I would be sitting throughout the night and not walking. It is now time for my hair and makeup and Syl could do no wrong! With a little curl, tease, and lots of hairspray my hair was fabulous. Appearing older took a little more makeup than what I was used to wearing. My dad took one look at me, called me Jezebel, and politely asked me to take off the lipstick, LOL! I wish I had a picture to show everyone, but the mental one I'm sure is priceless!! They had come over to get me ready for the club early, but were going to pick me up at a indoor pro soccer game my parents and I were going to. It was closer to get to the club from there then coming to get me at my house. So I put on my leather jacket and zipped it up so that my cat suit would not be revealing. Thank goodness it was winter!! The game was awesome, and I was excited for Lisa and Syl to arrive. My dad's jaw dropped as Lisa and Syl came in to get me with their clubbing clothes on. To tell you a little bit about them they were both beautiful blondes who could definitely be models. Lisa had on a short white shirt where you saw her belly button ring, and a pair of stonewashed jeans that had slits in the back. Syl had on these jeans that were cut down the sides and had safety pins holding them together. She made them herself, and did not even use a sewing machine!! (Shout out to Jen on that comment, I had to!) We all looked ready to go! I memorized all of the important dates and stuff on the BC incase I was asked. As we got there I showed the bouncer the BC he did not question me, and just let me go on through. YES WE PULLED IT OFF! I met the owner and I do not think he cared less if I was a monkey for he was feeling pretty good if you know what im sayin’! So we all got some wine coolers (surprised to tell you that this was not the first time that alcohol had entered my body. How do you think I got the name drunk girl, J/K, LOL) and sat near the front so we could hear the band. We were afraid that they wouldn't sound loud enough! The name of the heavy medal band was UGLY!! And let me just tell you they could not have picked a better name! After banging our heads for a couple of songs we went over to this pool table, and began to play. We were beating people left and right. What was our strategy you wonder? Well Syl and I played partners. She played in pool tournaments and was on a team. So when I would screw up (which was often) she could clean up the mess! She made all the moves, and would angle my wheelchair where I needed to be. Holding on to the pool stick at the end to steady my shot she would tell me exactly where to hit the cue ball to put the ball in the pocket. It did not always work for me as I would usually either hit the cue ball too soft or too hard. But that is okay because Syl was that GOOD. So now guys are buying us drinks to try and prove that they are good sports and letting us win, and not just guys who got beat by the handicapped girl!! I would take a drink or two, and then pass it on to Syl or Lisa as they could hold their liquor better than I. Now if that was not enough excitement Lisa knew the band UGLY (I am telling you she knows everybody!) and told them it was my birthday. So they pulled me to the middle of the stage (and it was not a real big stage) and proceeded to sing and play happy birthday. The bass guitarist sat his guitar on my lap so I could feel the good vibrations, and sweet sensations, LOL! Shout out to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch! He then presented me with a coupon for a free drink that I got from of his mouth, EWW I know! UGLY gave me a guitar pic (which I still have somewhere). Now people are buying me drinks because they think it is my birthday. I am not hurting for anything to drink let me tell you. If I had drank everything that was given to me that night I would have been living in the restroom! I knew that Syl and Lisa would take care of me. As the night ended at two in the morning we made our way to Denny's for breakfast and Pepsi’s. I had so much fun, and I know I would not have had such a good time if it wasn’t for Syl and Lisa. This was not the first or the last time that three of us were together. I could be exactly who I was around them, and I loved being around them for that. I may not get to visit with each of them as much as I would like now, but I am still in contact with them both. Love you guys!!

As I said before saying goodbye to my family and friends in Oklahoma was one of the hardest things about moving to Texas. 95% of my friends and family knew me before I became wheelchair-bound. So it was easier for them to see past the wheelchair to see who I really was. It was just a matter of getting past the FA for them. Now that I was leaving and going to be establishing new friends they not only had to see past the wheelchair, but also my FA. Acceptance was my fear. Right now I can honestly say that acceptance is no longer a fear of mine. Some will like me and some will not that’s just the way it goes. I don't lose any sleep over it!

Thank you for taking the time to read, Miss S

Next Post: THE BIG MOVE

Sept.to Oct. 1993- MY FIRST UNPAID INTERNSHIP

There are things that you remember, things that you do not, and things that you wish you would not remember! This was one of those times that I know was there in my dash but do not remember anything specific about it. I thought I would at least mention it. I was proud of myself at the time for doing it. After getting my business technology certificate I had a one-month UNPAID internship. It was in Tulsa and was a big University that was branched out with four different Oklahoma colleges (OU, OSU, NEO, NSU). I do not know what it was actually called... It was 15 years ago so cut me some slack! I worked in the Northeastern State University office as a secretary. I would answer the phones, mail out degree plans, and talk to the people as they would come in to the office. It was nothing exciting and I did not make any lasting friendships from being there. It was merely something that looked good on my résumé.

Soon after I graduated my dad moved to Ft. Worth Texas his job got transferred. I was not going to even try to get a job in Tulsa after the internship was up for I knew my Mom and I would be joining him soon. I will talk all about that transition period in the next several posts.

Thank you for taking the time to read, Miss S

Sept.1993-Precious Moments Chapel

I had become very close with some of my classmates at Tulsa Tech. There were several ladies that I was in class with who were older and had grown kids already. I was friends with all of them and enjoyed there wisdom! One of the ladies named Edith was one of my favorite friends from there. A couple of years before I started going there I began collecting Precious Moments figurines…

For those of you who are not familiar with what they are, here is a picture of the very first PM figurine I received in October 1991 when I got homecoming queen. It was given to me from a former homecoming queen named Courtney. The figurine was titled, "Congratulations Princess!" I liked them even before that, but did not have one. But one was all it took for me to start getting bunches. I was not only getting figurines but anything and everything that had to do with PM’s. I was even in the collectors club. For Christmas my parents decided to give me a really pretty curio cabinet to display all of my PM's. It did not take long to fill that sucker up. We ended up having to move the cabinet into the spare bedroom for I was not able to keep it with all my junk in my room. I still love the figurines, but have not gotten one in quite a while. I stopped being in the collectors club about five years ago. My friend Jen is always giving me a PM ornament every year for Christmas. I thank her so much for keeping the PM collection alive for me. PM figurines are created by the artist Samuel J. Butcher. In 1978 Sam began making and selling the figurines to convey the message of God's love to everyone…

Back to the story... Edith and I both had a love and collection for PMs. In 1989 Sam made another dream of his come true by building the Precious Moments Chapel in Carthage Missouri. I had told Edith how I would really love to go there sometime. Edith had been there a couple of times. She told me that she wanted to take me there as a graduation gift! She wanted to go back anyway, and wanted to share the experience of going there with me. That was very thoughtful of her. I was so excited. So we picked a Saturday to drive, and got there okay in her little two-seater truck. (I have no pics:( ) We started off at a welcome building where we signed up for the tour of the chapel (from stained-glass windows to painted ceilings the detail was amazing!), and museum (showing us step-by-step how the figurines are made). They even had a garden area with big statues of PM's. It was breathtaking and undescribable to see it all. They have added so many different things since I have been there last. I would love to go there again, and if you haven't been there it is something to see. I highly recommend it! Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps! It is very wheelchair accessible! They also have a wedding chapel, and I have always said I would love to get married there. So if you are out there man of my dreams, LOL!

For more info about PMs u can go to http://www.preciousmoments.com/ Do you have a collection that you would like to share? Thank you for taking the time to read, MISS S

Jan.-Sep. 1993: Tulsa Tech. Center

I did not have a big desire to go on to college after high school. I knew it was really hard to get a good job just on a high school diploma. I was not pressured to go to college or anything. My parents made it clear that they would be proud of me no matter what I decide to do. So I signed up for a nine-month Business Technology training course at Tulsa Technology Center. I would start the day with my mom dropping me off in the mornings on her way to work. It was quite a ways from where we lived. I would usually eat breakfast there. That would consist of an Otis Spunkmeyer Banana Nut Muffin and, some Chocolate Milk! My mouth is watering just thinking about it, man how I love those muffins!! In our classes we would mostly do computer work, but would make time to study math and English. At that time computers were becoming the big thing. We learned WordPerfect as that was the new software being introduced. I picked it up very quickly, and absolutely loved it! Working from the computer always made me feel independent (still does) even though I was never a fast typer. Most of my other classmates were women (about 12), but there were some men (about 3) as well. One of the ladies who graduated with my brother at Webster was also in my class, so that was great. It felt good to know someone. I really did enjoy being there. I was even the historian for the Phi Beta Lamda, a little group they had. No, not Lamda Lamda Lamda you Revenge of the Nerd watchers!!! It was all day. And then my Dad would pick me up.

This was the first time I had gone where my wheelchair was a permanent fixture. So that made me extra nervous being around new people and being around new surroundings. I was not treated any differently from day one. I thought that men definitely would not be interested in me anymore (not like they were knocking down my door before!) because I was in a wheelchair. On Valentine's Day that year our little Phi Beta Lamda group sold carnations or a box of candy hearts with a message to send to someone. This guy that was taking heating and air classes gave me a pink carnation!! He came up to me that day to give me the flower, and to tell me that he thought I was very pretty. He sweeped me off my wheels!! I was speechless. We were friends, but nothing became of it. Another thing that happened regarding the fact that I was in a wheelchair was during a field trip that we took to Oklahoma City. I cannot remember the name of the place but it was something to do with learning about business and money. We took the big ‘ol yellow school bus. I assume I was carried on to the bus by a nice gentleman/friend. When we arrived in the city this one guy just jumps up and grabs me like a sack of potatoes and puts me in my wheelchair. I am shocked as he is merely an acquaintance to me and doesn't even know me or me him. It doesn't stop there though... This guy starts pushing my wheelchair really fast and popping wheelies. I was so mad and started screaming. I told the teachers he is not to come near me again. He stayed away for the next day at school him and I met with one of the principals. He never once apologized for getting all up in my (wheelchair) frame. I told him that I did not know him, and it was not appropriate to touch me even if it is only a wheelchair. The wheelchair is an extension of my frame, and that he wouldn't go and physically push some able-bodied girl's frame, and I am no different. Because of the fact that we did not know each other how would he know that he was not hurting me? Since he insisted he did no wrong and would not apologize I told him not to even look my way anymore. So he was instructed to stay away from me for the rest of the school year. He knew he better recognize from that point on and he did.

After 9 months I had the baby, LOL!! I crack myself up:0) But for reals tho I did graduate and get a certificate. That is about all I got! The computer skills have always been handy.

Thank you for taking the time to read, Miss S

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

I APPOLOGIZE FOR MY LACK OF POSTING:( I WISH MY EXCUSE WAS OVERLY EXTRAVAGENT, BUT IT IS NOTHING MORE THAN BEING LAZY!!!!!! AS MY LIST OF NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS BROADEN OF COURSE POSTING MORE OFTEN IS AT THE TOP. I WISH EACH AN EVERONE OF YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.

BY THE BY, THE PICS WERE A LAST MINUTE EDITION. CAN'T U TELL? THAT IS MY DADS CHARLIE BROWN TREE, AND HE IS ALL PROUD OF IT!!!!!!!!

MISS S



MISS S

NOV '92- JAN '93 THE BABYSITTERS CLUB (my version anyway)

My good friend Mark from next door and his family had moved away when I was 15. Since then several different renters had stayed in the house. I was not close with any of them…until this one couple moved in early ‘92. They had a baby boy in June 92. She also had two other kids. A 3 yr. old girl, and a girl in middle school. The Mom worked at night part-time while the Dad worked during the day. I had instantly become friends with the girl in middle school. Although I was older, and out of school she kind of looked up to me, and felt comfortable talking to me about anything. That made me feel really good. I began coming around their house, and began a friendship as well with the mother. After having her son (Alex) in June I began to come around the house more often just to see the baby. He was the cutest and most content baby I had ever been around. His mom used to tell me that he really likes because he acted so happy. She asked me if I would be willing to watch him while she ran errands during the day. She was aware of the FA, but Alex was not a squirmy crawly baby. She did not plan to leave him for hours with me or anything. So I agreed. My first babysitting gig! I had been around babies before, but never alone with one. So she would bring Alex over may be once a week while she would go to the store, to the bank, or wherever. My parents both worked during the day so it was just me and thumper. She would come over bringing Alex and his diaper bag. She would take him out of his carrier, and put him on my bed. Then go run her errands, and come right back. He was the best baby. He had the cutest dimples ever. I wish I knew what was going through his mind at the time. He would smile and jabber constantly. I would wonder if he just had gas! There were only a few times that I did pick him up. Now I know what you're thinking... "It she a crazy drunk girl?" I would make sure I was sitting on the bed with my back leaning against the wall. I just had to give him little kisses on his forehead, and lots of hugs! He was so sweet. Did I mention the fact that he was the most content baby I have ever seen.! He never cried, and would sometimes be asleep when she brought him. I think there was only once that he was left Alex in my care for like 3 1/2 hours. In that time I had to change his diaper (it was not bad), and give him a bottle (I warmed it up and everything). The mom was always concerned and wanted to make sure Alex did not fall off the bed, or I'd do something really crazy like try to walk around with him. She would call periodically to make sure that everything was going okay. I only watched him for three months. When he got in his squirmy crawly stage I knew it was all over for me. That is when he would crawl over and stick his finger in a light socket, or crawl into a corner and I could not get it to him! I was so grateful for her giving me the experience.































Here is a pic of Alex 1 of the days he was at my house. Don't ya just want to squeeze him!! I wish he was smiling so you could see his dimples. He is a young man now, and I am sure he is a heartbreaker!! Man, I feel soooooooo old. I have not seen him since he was a baby. Not too long after the gig was up they moved, and we lost contact:(

If I were to try and do that now everybody would be insane. My FA has progressed very much so since then. I have a hard time taking care of myself let alone trying to take care of a baby. I still love babies!! I can have children, but do not feel that it would be a good thing at all. Healthwise being pregnant is not the best option either for me. I have friends w/ FA who have had children, and God love them cause I could not do it! I am not opposed to being a mother, but there are other ways to make that happen. I will cross that bridge when I get to it. I am nowhere near that bridge right now. Because I do have that mothering instinct it does make me sad to know that I will never be able to love a child in the way I want to. But life goes on, and we must learn to be happy with what we have! Everything happens for a reason, and God does not give us more than we can handle.

So tell me about your babysitting experience? Whether it would be your first or maybe something funny that happened like that the baby peeing on you when you changed its diaper!

Thanks for taking the time to read, MISS S

NOV 1992- GETTING MY RIDE

I was so excited for the next step which was to go car shopping! I called up my dear friend from Crown Auto world (see post titled the Nutcracker) to see about possibly getting something there. His car lot sold new BMWs and Mercedes. Of course, that was out of my price range! So I would be checking out what was available on the used car lot. My dad went with me as he was the negotiator, and the test driver. They already had a vehicle ready for me to look at when I arrived. It was a 4-door, Metallic Blue, 91 Chevy Cavalier! My dad test drove it while I was sitting in the passengers seat. It drove very nice and smooth. The air conditioner worked really well, and the owners who had it before put in a really nice stereo system. A big thing also is that it did NOT have power steering, which was a great thing! Can you imagine my uncoordinated self trying to go in a straight line with power steering?? Me either:) ! I did not need to look any further. That was the car I wanted. So with little negotiation with the car salesman I got the car! I had been saving my money to be able to put a good down payment on it. I could not believe I had my own car.

I immediately called my voc rehab Counselor to find out what the next that step was to getting my car adapted. My dad took my car down to a place called Beesleys that handled mobility adaptions. They were going to put in the hand controls. They also showed me a device that would allow me to safely transport my wheelchair. It was called a chair topper. It kind of resembled a luggage rack on top of the car. It was a big box on top of the car, and it had a remote control with a wire that would run from the car battery to the box. The remote-control was very simple to operate. It was so easy even a caveman could do it! It had two buttons on it, one that said UP and one that said DOWN. When you pushed the DOWN button the box would slide out from the driver seat side. Dropping a chain down with a medal fork on the end of it, that you would attach to the seat of the wheelchair with. Then push UP on the remote-control, and the chain would start going up while folding the chair. After it got all the way up it would turn to the side with these brackets placing the chair inside the box, and out of the rain. It was a very cool thing. I had never seen one before.


Getting the money for it from the rehab, ordering the part's, not to mention the labor of doing it took close to a year to adapt the whole car. In the meantime my car became very familiar with the driveway. The hand controls were installed about six months later than about four months after that my chair topper was completed. When my hand controls were on I would drive around with my cousin Allen a lot. Having an extra vehicle made it nice for everyone in the household. A lot of my friends and family got a chance to drive the car.

I ended up driving for seven years. I definitely have more stories to share with you about my car and driving. I will do so when I get to it during that post. Now it is your time to share about your first vehicle?

Thanks for taking the time to read, Miss S

OCT/NOV 1992- I CAN'T DRIVE 55! (cont.)

DRIVING SCHOOL
Every afternoon (Monday-Friday) a bus with a lift would pick me up, and take me across campus to driving school for 3 hours. Before attending the school I had to have my learner’s permit. I had no problem taking the test. I even had to make a trip to OKC, so they could see that I was disabled (duh)! I had the normal first day of class jitters. What will the other students be like? I hope the instructor is nice? I hope I don’t wreck the student vehicle or run over anybody!! 6 of the other classmates entered, and much to my surprise one of them was my peep Alicia!! I knew her from camp, and she was also a fellow FAer. The minute we saw each other we were both happy campers!! Alicia lived in Edmond. Alicia was just 16, and I am assuming because she lived there she knew about the school. We were friends at summer camp, but we did not have much to do with each other outside of camp. I always thought she had that Brooke Shields “Blue Lagoon” model look about her. Anyways, so we were instant class buddies. For the first day we took a simulated test to see which accessible adaptation would best suit us. Not everybody in the class was in a wheelchair. There was one person with one leg shorter than the other one, and someone who walked with a cane. I am not educated at all about the different options for driving. Almost anything can be adapted these days. Because one of the girls had a short leg she used break and gas extenders on the petals. Alicia and I were both in wheelchairs, and unable to use our feet. So we used hand controls. I think this is the most common adaption. It is a bar that is below the turn signals, and you push down for gas and in for break. There is a toggle switch on the bar for the turn signals so that you don't have to take your hand off the bar to do so. There is also a knob on the steering wheel to make full turns. After figuring out what everybody needed we spent the rest of the week practicing our driving on the simulation modules. When it was time to start getting on the road with the vehicles there were several instructors, and we had partners. You will never guess who my partner was? It was Alicia! Our instructor was a young good-looking preppie guy! Alicia and I were both happy about that, for now anyway. So Alicia and I would take turns driving the vehicle. We never really went on real busy streets or highways. I do not remember what kind of vehicle it was, but it was four-door, a brown color, and it ran! I was able to stand up and transfer into the drivers seat. God has blessed me with really long legs, although I think he forgot that I wouldn't be able to use them!! Since all the length was in my legs I sat on a cushion so I could see over the steering wheel. I would leave my wheelchair in the building. The next two weeks consisted of Alicia and I taking turns practicing driving with the instructor. I was proud of myself because I was not bad at going in a straight-line, but I could not get turning! I would overturn the wheel every time. One time we did go into somebody's ditch on a residential street. Thank God there were no children around! Through out this time the instructor and I tried to start up a friendship, but it was not meant to be! He knew who I was from back in the day (being homecoming queen, and getting my diploma), and we even had a friend in common. I do not remember his name and that is quite all right with me! He was getting frustrated, and so was I with the fact I could not get the turning thing down. One of the days he decided to teach us how to parallel park. I was a nervous wreck (no pun intended!) when I realized what we were doing. I had to park between 2 cones. I did it over and over. Surprisingly I only hit the cones once, and it was not hard enough to disfigure them! The instructor and I only spoke to each other when necessary. Alicia and him seemed to get along great-go figure. The straw that broke the camels back was when I saw him and Alicia come back from their driving lesson carrying a bag of tater tots! I was like “NO THEY DI-N’T!” They just took away time from my driving lesson to go have a little brown bag special at the Sonic Drive-In! Apparently Alicia was driving good, me on the other hand was not. I was still not sure of turns, and we only had the week left to practice before the big test. I thought I would give him a piece of my brown bag special mind, and see if he liked it. So I went to the head instructor telling him of my frustrations with the other instructor, and my problem with turning still. Because Mr. Brown bag was not the only instructor so I asked for another one. The head instructor took me as his new student. We used the same vehicle, and he was so patient with me. It made me not frustrated, and I got the turning technique right away. I never had to face Mr. Brown bag for the rest of my schooling.

THE TEST
I was feeling good that day as we got ready to go to the DMV (Dept. of Motor Vehicles). Of course, the exam was on unfamiliar territory. I was doing fine until they called my name. I was again going to be driving the same vehicle so that was good. I got into the drivers seat, and a policeman got into the passenger seat. That is when I wanted to pee my pants, and call my mama! I tried to make small talk with him to break the ice. We went on a busy two lane street. He asked me to move into the other lane. It made me nervous to do that. I had a bad tendency of turning the wheel when I would turn my head to check my blind spot. I looked in the rear view mirror as I saw it was clear I then checked my blind spot. I did it! The policeman then instructed me to turn into a residential street. My turns were very smooth. As we came up on a street we saw two cars that were parked on the side, and there was room for another car to park in the middle. So he told me he wanted me to parallel park in between those cars. You talk about nervous. I am a girl, and normally have no ideas about the make and model of a car. But I do know the symbol of a BMW! That was what one of the cars was that I was to parallel park in between. Forget peeing, I felt like I was going to s**t at that point! I told the policeman I was extremely nervous, and he told me if I felt like I could not do it we could go back to the DMV. I was not about to give up just because of a BMW! I proceeded. and did it just like I had practiced with the cones. I kept telling myself that they were merely cones. I was barely inching into my spot, and gaining a little confidence.... when BAM!! I just knew my life was over as I had hit someone else's car. The policeman said, "you just hit the curb." I was so relieved. He told me to turn out, and go back to the DMV. I was shaking and almost in tears as I really thought I had just failed. As we pulled into the DMV he asked me to park in one of the spot's. I did not do the best job at parking. As I shut off the car I asked him what the damage was. He told me I did a good job and passed! I could not believe it. I told him I thought I was so goner when I hit the curb for the parallel parking. He told me that I showed him I could do it, and that even though I wasn't perfect at it this time he knows I can do it. He said there isn't very many times that you will ever need to parallel park anyway. I was so excited. And eager to look at my old instructor in the face, and smile really big:)

I know a couple of professor's at UCO now, and they tell me there is no more driving school for the disabled there:( Hoping thats because there are more places to go.

Soon after returning home from getting my driver’s license my friend Tonya threw me a surprise party for passing my test! Several friends of mine from high school were there. It was fun for us all to be there together. The cake was shaped like an Oklahoma driver's license. It was very sweet and thoughtful of her to do that for me.

Now tell me about your first driving experience? How did you learn? Did you pass your driver's test the first time? If you do not drive a vehicle you have probably driven something, power wheelchair, a bike, Scooter, a virtual car, you get my drift. Tell me about driving anything. Everyone's got a story of some kind.

Thank you for taking the time to read, Miss S

OCT./NOV 1992- I CAN'T DRIVE 55!!!!!!!! (Sammy Hagar, 1984)

As I have mentioned in a previous post, before graduating high school I was hooked up with someone from vocational rehabilitation services in Tulsa, Ok. They helped and informed me about getting services due to my FA. Like helping me to get Social Security disability benefits, training for a job, and driving lessons! I was not aware that there was anything out there that would allow me to drive a vehicle. I always thought I would just be the female scrub hangin’ out of the passengers side of my best friend’s ride (Shout out to the group TLC, I love that song)!! I signed up for this right away. I think my parent's were not very optimistic on this one, but they supported my decision. The biggest obstacles that were in my way were the fact that the driving school was 2 hours away, and a month long. The driving school was held at the University of Central Oklahoma (UCO) in Edmond Oklahoma. The vocational rehabilitation would financially pay for me to have a helper stay with me, for room and board for me and my helper to stay at UCO during that month, and for the driving classes. Now I just had to figure out who my helper would be. Needing someone for the middle of October to the middle of November is a hard time frame to try and get someone. And it was only for a month. I asked several people, and finally my friend Crystal from high school said she would go with me. Crystal and I never really hung out with one another outside of school. I had all four years of Spanish class with her. She was my amiga!!

LIVING THE COLLEGE LIFE, AND DOING MY OWN THING!
My Mom and Dad followed Crystal and I to UCO, and they helped us to get unpacked. I seemed to have brought everything but the kitchen sink while Crystal brought everything from the boy band New Kids on the Block (sheets, comforter, pillow cases, u name it she had it)! We stayed in the accessible dorms. Because the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) had just became law earlier that year the dorms were far from being perfectly accessible, and still have quite a few barriers to overcome. There was actually only one hallway of accessible dorms there. They were coed. There were not many people living in them though. The first person we met was a gentleman named Jason who lived across the hall. He was an actual student, and in a power wheelchair. I do not recall what his disability was. He lived alone, and seemed to know everyone. He took us in under his wing, showed us around, and introduced us to other folks. He became our best friend while we were there. A funny moment was that every weekday during 11 a.m. he would watch the soap opera All My Children, and I would watch Young and the Restless. Crystal watched All My Children as well, and would go to his room and watch it with him. I could hear them screaming and hollering at the TV! Eating in the cafeteria with a bunch of strangers was intimidating at first. We were shy, and would have only small salads like we were on a first date! It did not take long to warm up to the other students, make friends, and eat normal! Everyone was so nice. Crystal and I were getting to live the college life for a month! No parents, no curfew! My parents were never strict or anything, but it was a grown-up feeling I had. I did run into a couple of peeps that went to school there that I knew. Small world! I also got to hang out with some peeps from MDA summer camp. One of them of course was a firefighter named Scott and his daughter. Another one was my Diva Jen (http://monkeyposh.blogspot.com)! We had actually visited on a couple of different occasions. It was so good to see her. Because of our living distance we did not get to visit very much (we now live in different state's so it is even harder). Because UCO was closer for her to get to we took advantage of it. I had a blast being there! Normally Crystal and I would go home on the weekends.

Below is a photo of Crystal (Top row: 2nd on left, blue-green top), Alicia (Sitting far left, friend from class, i talk about her a lot in the next post), me (in wheelchair), and Jason (to my right). From the first week we were there we went w/ Jason to his Christian group meetings. They were all wonderful people.

To find out what happened in driving school you must check the next post. Did I run over anybody? Did I wreck the vehicle? Did I pass the drivers test? I have been working on this for several days (my voice dictation has not been cooperating), and figure instead of letting you read it all at once I will put it in 2 parts. I have already started writing about driving school so it should not take long (cross your fingers).

What was your first experience like living away from your parents or being away from them for a good period of time?

Thank you for taking the time to read, MISS S

SEPTEMBER 92- LEARNING TO MAKE DO ON WHEELS!!

Since being in the wheelchair full-time since graduation walking became something that was very rarely done. While standing was something I tried to do every day. I admit I was clueless, lazy, and there were days I did not stand at all. Of course I look back now and wish I had paid better attention to my mom when she would say to me "If you don't use it, you will lose it." It made things so much easier for me especially during those menial everyday tasks that I had even taken for granted before things got really difficult. Like carrying a full glass of something to drink. I could just sit in my lap, and not have to worry about trying to walk with it. Not to mention spilling half of it along the way. I used to sit a TV tray across my lap, and only connect one side of the legs to the tray. That way I would not always have to get out of my chair to eat. I did get out of my chair though when we would have dinner at the dinner table. I also had a door mirror that was on my closet door of my bedroom. I would sit in my chair with my curling iron, and make-up to get myself ready for the day. Before using the chair I would just sit on the floor (I would still do that from time to time as it was good exercise for me to get up-and-down from the floor). Because of doing this I had several burn marks on my legs, and on my forehead from trying to curl my bangs! If you didn’t know me you would think I was being abused! It is not very noticeable, but I do have a scar on the left side of my forehead. The pain I would go through, and all for beauty! I also had a lawn chair that would sit in the tub so that I could shower without having to worry about falling. Getting undressed to get in there was always tricky, but I managed to do it! The biggest obstacle for me at that time (and still remains) is going to the restroom. Because our bathroom door like bunches of the bathroom doors is the smallest door in the house my wheelchair was unable to fit in there. So I had to park my chair in the hallway, wobble into the bathroom, and shut the door. The stool was right next to the door. Because my balance was so bad I was having to lean against the counter to try to steady myself enough to get my pants down. I would end up with all of these scratches on my lower back because our countertop was not rounded at the ends. I had even fallen a few times. My parents both worked, and my brother had moved out by this time so I was home alone during the day. My kidneys and blatter were not patient enough to wait 8 or so hours. Imagine that! So our neighbor across the street, Harold, was a carpenter (he built his own house!) came over to look and see if he could widen our bathroom door. Without much hesitation he came over, and dropped what that he was doing. He widened the way and installed a new door. He even drilled a grab bar in the door so I would have something to hold onto that was sturdy instead of leaning against the counter. It was a big relief and blessing to have that done. Along with a great security factor. Harold never did charge anything for his time. Now that I could fit my wheelchair into the door it did not seem to take as much time to go to the bathroom, and I did not fall any more or have scratches on my back! Our bathroom was not huge so I could not do donuts in there or anything. I would actually go in backwards so that I would be facing the grab bar.

Harold is another big hearted individual that deserves a shout out on my blog! I have special memories with the whole family. I have mentioned some of those memories throughout my blog already. I try to keep in contact with all of them by way of Christmas cards and stuff. I mostly talk to Diane on e-mail. She even made a surprise visit to my college graduation a couple of years ago! I love them all!

I learned to make do with what I had around me at the time. I would love for you to share about a time when you had to make do with what you had. How did you do it? Maybe you can share a trick that would be helpful for not only me, but someone else!

Thank you for taking the time to read, Miss S

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER '92- I LOVE FIREFIGHTERS!!!

For the past several years in August I would volunteer my time with MDA to go to 33 fire stations in three days to speak/motivate firefighters to do the fill the boot campaign to benefit the Muscular Dystrophy Association on Labor Day. Each year I enjoyed myself more and more as I really got to know what a bighearted group that they were. A lot of them knew who I was from previous years and would have warm cookies waiting for me. When it was time for lunch at whatever fire station we were at they would fix us lunch, and they can cook let me tell ya! I got rides on a fire trucks, and they always made me feel so welcome. Not to mention a lot of them could burn out my flame at any time, if you know what I am sayin, LOL!! Every year when we would do this one at the firefighters would drive me and one of the people from MDA to each fire station in the Tulsa area. We would get to know that particular firefighter pretty good as they were with us each day. As we were talking in the vehicle I mentioned the fact that since I am now in the wheelchair full-time, and my house had steps I was not able to go outside of my house by myself. Our mailbox was on our fence across the yard, and I was not even able to go get it any more independently. It made me sad, and I was not telling him to figure out a solution to my problem but merely in discussion as he was my friend.

Little did I know, but he had spoken to several firefighters who he knew also did some construction work on the side. They took up a collection of money, bought the lumber, and called me to come over and build a ramp for me at my front door so that I could independently be able to get outside. I was very overwhelmed with emotion when I learned what they did. So six firefighters came over to the house with all of their tools, and the lumber. They sweated in the hot heat for about an hour and a half, and completed a very nice ramp that would gradually slope down. The new station got wind of what they were doing, and came out to tape a segment for the news! Before they left I gave them all big hugs (I did not care that they were sweaty), and begin to cry. None of what they did was to benefit them in anyway. I was so grateful, and would never be able to repay them. About a year and a half later we moved to Ft. Worth Texas (I continued speaking to the firefighters there, and was even flown back to Tulsa to speak to them one year!). The people who bought the house after us left the ramp up for several years as they told us that they had friends in a wheelchair, and the ramp would come in handy. My parents and I often drive by our old house when we go back to visit family and friends. The ramp was taken down about five or six years ago:(

Has anyone ever done something for you that was unexpected and did not benefit them?
I can think of lots of things in my life that people have done for me (even on a daily basis). I shared one of mine, and would love to hear one of yours. It can be big or small, but the meaning behind it all makes it grand! That is why I love volunteering, you get as much when you give as you receive if not more.

Thanks for taking the time to read, Miss S

18 AND LEGAL IN 92!!!!!!! [edit*]

A few days before graduation was my 18th birthday! I did not have a big party (Graduating was my party!). My family sang in unison (Lord help us all!) Happy Birthday while handing me a cupcake with a candle in it! A friend of mine who worked for MDA, Christy, came over and we went on to eat then to the Ice Capades!

Turning 18 was a major thing for me because it meant that I could handle more things on my own without parental guidance and/or signatures like buying cigarettes, and making curfew!!! J/K, I had you going there..right? I mean to call the doctor, or sign and fill out paperwork, stuff like that. My mother was (and still is) a wonderful support, but she is a pretty big procrastinator on some things. She was also working during this time which also made it hard to handle it all. Which was another reason I was glad to have more of the monkey on my back. A few months before graduating I was approached by the vocational rehabilitation in Tulsa to talk about my options due to my FA after graduation. They gave me the paperwork to fill out and turn in when I turned 18 to be eligible for Social Security and Medicaid. They would also help with driving school, and getting a car adapted. That was exciting to me for I did not even know it would be possible for me to drive! Not only that but they would also help financially with schooling. What a blessing this was. This was also around the time when I learned the true meaning of the word "red tape.” Forget that you have a disability for several months (or longer) until the government gets around to the paperwork! UGH! A really good friend of mine at the time, Carla, made it her mission to show me the ropes on how to be organized when it came to filing away papers, and in making things look neat. Carla was quite a bit older than me so she had experience. And she would be proud to know that I am still doing some of the things she taught me! She was my camp counselor a couple of years at summer camp when I was in HS. We also spent a lot of time together outside of camp during this time.

Thanks for taking the time to read, Miss S

SR'S 92- GRADUATION DAY WAS HERE!!

As the day arrived I was excited and nervous. I didn't sleep very well the night before because of that. When Mike and Ricky got to my house so we could go to the Maybee Center together a news crew was there to interview me about taking the walk. As I had mentioned a little earlier in the post that when I was interviewed through the newspaper, or on TV they knew that walking across the stage was my goal. So I was interviewed by each of them again as a follow up for my goal. One of the newspapers came to the school and took a picture of me standing in the mirror with my cap on.

I was not exactly sure what the set up was going to look like at the Maybee Center or anything. Mike and Ricky were supposed to help me sit on the end of a second row. Then I was to go up on stage, get my diploma, and stay on stage, and sit next to the principal. I guess he thought I was going to do something crazy like moon everybody! Everyone filed in and the ceremony began as the graduation march started. The seniors began to come down the stairs. Mike, Ricky, and I were at the bottom of the stairs and off to the right waiting for our go ahead to start walking to my seat. I did bring my wheelchair, but had no plans to use it during the ceremony. So it stayed in the back. I made it to the seat fine. Mike and Ricky both sat near the back where I first started walking from. Us 92ers listened to the valedictorian, salutatorian, and the other speakers. The whole time I was looking (and listening) at the set up on the stage. Before the ceremony began I was asked to stay on the stage after getting my diploma, and to sit next to the principal. I thought that was nice of them to not make me have to walk back down the stage. As it was time for us 92ers to get our diplomas Mike and Ricky came to my side. We were first in line. In order to get up the stage we had to walk up the ramp. You would think that the ramp would be to the side, and that we would walk up to some steps. I guess they were not thinking when they built the stage! I am praying the whole time under my breath that I would not slip on this ramp. I had a death grip on Mike and Ricky's arm! They probably had bruises! I took one step at a time. There was a hand rail on the ramp so I used that while Ricky looked away, and gave my name card to the caller. I was the first name they called. As my name was called I began walking across the stage toward the principal to receive my diploma. There were TV crews and newspaper journalists to capture this historic moment for me (and it was a good human interest piece for them to share)! My concentration level was so focused on me getting from point A to point B that I really did not look to what was around me. As I reached my way to the principal I stopped to pose for a picture, and it was then I noticed that I was given a standing ovation! That really touched me. Mike carried my diploma in his left hand and so I held his right arm. We continued as I made my way to my seat on stage. There was one more step I had to face to get to the main stage. I was nervous about it, and also exhausted. Ricky said to me, "One more step Stephanie, you can do it." That meant more to me than he knows as it gave me the motivation to keep going. Once I got to my seat I let out a big sigh because I did it! It could not have gone any smoother. Without any more worries I observed my fellow classmate's getting there diplomas. Hearing their names and seeing their faces made me sad to realize that this might be the last time I ever see some of these people again. I began to cry and cry. One of the teachers was making a senior video and taped the whole ceremony. As I watched it later he had put the split screen on me during this point, and you could see tears rolling down my face. When all 133 of us 92ers got our diplomas and sat in our seats the principal went up to say a few things to our Class. At that time he read a poem that he thought represented what the Class of 92, faculty, and staff thought of me! I had no idea that he was going to do that, and I could not believe it! I never thought of myself as doing anything inspirational. I just lived my life. As he was reading the poem again the waterworks began! It was a very sweet poem and I am sorry to say that I do not remember the name of it. After reading it a couple of people that were already on the stage helped me to stand for recognition. I again got a standing ovation from everyone! I remember having so many goosebumps. Everyone knew that the principal was going to do that including my parents, but I had no idea. When the ceremony was over Mike and Ricky brought me my wheelchair. I was in shock that nothing went wrong! Thank you God! I went to the main room to turn in my cap and gown. The main thought in my head was that this is it. The last time I will see most of these people again. All I could do was hug my friends goodbye. Our graduation song was, "It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday," by Boys to Men. That's song matched perfectly with the way I was feeling. We left there and a whole bunch of my family and friends went to Mazzios where we filled up on pizza and I got some really nice gifts.

From that moment on I very rarely got out of my wheelchair to do anything. I would stand at the kitchen counter to do the dishes, stand to get in and out of cars, and at other people's houses. I found it to be so much easier to be in the wheelchair. At that time I grew out of the fact of being self-conscious in it.

Thank you for taking the time to read, MISS S

SR's 92- DECISIONS, DECISIONS! !

So now that I had my wardrobe and hair figured out it was time to make some more important decisions about graduation. I have mentioned numerous times before, I was the only person in my high school that was physically disabled. So besides the temporary physical disabilities like a broken leg or sprained ankle I was it. The school was not accessible so I had to fight to stay on my feet to go there. I was glad I did it for it kept me on my feet longer. At the time I was physically worn out, my knees were hurting, and lots of times I was ready to throw in the towel. I do feel my grades would have been better if so much of my concentration and energy hadn’t been on my FA (they weren’t awful, just average). Here I was with no one to relate to or even understand what I was going through. After school let out and I would go home, nobody knew how lonely or isolated I felt. The support that I got from God, my family, friends, and the community is what gave me the strength to go on. If it wasn’t for them I do not know if I would have made it!!


When I had gotten Homecoming Queen and was interviewed by the newspapers/TV, they had asked me what my plans were for the senior year. I told them my goal was to walk across the stage at graduation, and get my diploma. We were going to be graduating at the Oral Robert's University Maybee Center. There was much more room there to accommodate all of the family and friends of the graduates. It was a place I had been several times for special events. Several weeks before graduation our senior sponsor, Coach Nance, came up to me and was very happy to tell me that there was a wheelchair ramp at the Maybee Center that I could use at graduation. I looked at him as if he were crazy. I told him that, “I was not going out like that.” That “I had walked all the way through school, and knew my time of walking was ending.” That, “At the beginning of the year I set a goal for myself to walk across the stage at graduation to get my diploma, and that's just what I'm going to do!" Now that that was settled I had to decide who would help me walk. At first I thought about having some fellow graduates walk with me. I had asked my friend Tonya, and she said yes. As we were talking she pointed out that it was each individual graduates day to feel special. That she thought I should ask a couple of strapping young Junior guys to help (In My Humble Opinion, she didn't want me stealing her thunder, LOL! J/K). So I told Coach Nance, and he was cool with it. It was no contest in my mind who I wanted to ask. My good friends Mike and Ricky. They were my two best junior guy friends. Mike and Ricky were both in my Applied Economics class during the last semester. Mike was the gentleman that I spoke about in a prior post titled, “Every Rose has its Thorn”. We had been friends since the beginning of the year. Mike was good friends with Ricky. So that is how we became friends. Ricky was the funniest guy I had ever met. Through his sarcasm and quick wit he had me as a friend at hello, LOL!! They had both helped me quite a bit from that class. I first asked Mike, and he said that he would be honored to help me. I got very vaklempt! I told him that I wanted to ask Ricky if he would be my other helper. Mike thought that was a wonderful idea, and he gave me his number. Ricky also agreed! I was excited, and felt confident that they would not let me act like a drunk and fall all over myself at graduation!!

The pic below was right before the ceremony. Left to right is Ricky, Mike, and I!!!!!!!!!

Did I fall? Did I not? How did it all end up? To find out these answers and many more please join me in the next post for the rest of the story!

Thank you for taking the time to read, Miss S

SR'S 92- STYLING ON THE RED CARPET FOR GRADUATION!

The end was near! And it was time to get prepared for the upcoming big day which was graduation! First on the agenda was what to wear. The senior class ordered caps and gowns several months before the day arrived. We had been told to for the ladies to wear all white dresses and white dress shoes. My mom and I found a cute white sundress, and I wore the same white dress shoes that I wore during homecoming. Yep, the same white dress shoes without much traction on the bottom. I was going to be walking in them even more than I did before. I knew this was not the best option for me, but I did not complain. I did not want to look any more different than I already was. As a gift my mom and dad got me a real pretty sapphire and diamond necklace.

So that was done, now the hair. It was baby fine, long, and an auburn color with bangs and I had no real intentions of changing it. Several weeks before graduation my mom’s twin sister and her decided to frost each others hair. This was not new for them to do. As they finished frosting each others hair they wondered what to do with the leftover frost. My mom had the idea of frosting my hair with what was left, kind of like highlighting it. She had been wanting to highlight my hair for several years, and I would never let her. Except this time I agreed! Instead of putting on the hair cap, and pulling a little hair to highlight through the holes on the cap. I mean after all that is what you are supposed to do! But my mom's brilliant idea was to put on the hand glove, dip it into the stuff, and apply it to my hair without a hair cap on or anything. So she proceeds! I am not saying a word for I think she knows what she is doing with this stuff better than I do. The glove is on, and she dipped it into the frost. She grabs some hair from the center part of my head, and when she goes to put it on my hair the glove slips! I end up with a glob of frost in that one section. Mom is trying hard at this point to not show emotion so that I will think everything is going okay. I think my aunt was just pretending not to notice. Spreading the glob down my hair to try to not make it look like a big glob…"Yah, that’s a great idea!” Then she grabs the sides of my hair, and puts some frost on that. Thinking that she has covered up her mistake well we wait like 10 minutes and then washed it out. After washing and blow drying it I looked into the mirror and wanted to scream! I had a big platinum blonde streak down the center of my head! Along with two platinum blonde sides. I looked like I was smuggling a family of skunks in my hair!! I couldn't graduate looking like this!! I needed emergency hair care!! So off to Keeta’s we went. She didn’t scold us to bad, and proceeded to try to tone down the streaks with a darker shade of blonde. When it was all said and done for some reason the sides of my hair turned pink!! If I had it done for prom I would have matched!! The blonde streak in the center of my head was still there, but not as blonde as before. So now I just look like a tropical fish!! Much better don’t you think? When my mom would curl it and put half of it up in a pretty barrette it would blend well and look like it was done on purpose. After several washes the pink was almost gone. Thank God!

I was so devastated by my hair at the time that I just felt like sharing. I look back on it and laugh so hard. Of course, I have never let my mom frost my hair again. She jokes with me all the time about it. When we are at the store she threatens to buy a frosting kit!

Have a traumatic hair story that you would like to share? Don't be shy, we have all been there:)

Thanks for taking the time to read, Miss S

SR'S 92- WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN!

Daniel Webster High was not wheelchair accessible during this time. It was built in 1938 so it was not expected. That is until July 26, 1990 when the bill was passed for the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). In a nutshell, this bill gave persons with disabilities equal access to public accommodations and employment. So all public buildings had to be wheelchair accessible, accessible to the blind, and other disabilities. Being a teenager I was not aware that this bill existed, nor even passed. But I am thankful!! All buildings that did not meet ADA standards were given a deadline as to when the accessibility had to be done. Webster decided to take there time, and started work on an elevator in the spring of 1992. Because I did not know about the ADA I thought they built the elevator because of me. They wanted to give others with physical disabilities the same opportunities to go there as I had! What a crazy thought I had! As they began the construction process of putting in the elevator we could hear from class the drilling, hammering, and all that stuff that went on. At the end of April I was in my accounting class when our teacher (Coach H) who had an office at the front of the classroom, and in there he had a phone. When it would ring he would let one of the students get up and answer it. Students were always yelling out "I got it" as the phone would ring. One day the phone rang and I yelled out "I got it"! Coach just kept looking down and said “OK”. He then recognized the voice, and looked up laughing. A few days later as the workers were making all kinds of noise with the elevator one of my classmates asked the Coach “Why the elevator was not built before now so that Stephanie could use it?” Coach had told him “That I did not need it, that one day I told him that if he gave me an A that I would answer his phone. And I'll be damned if she didn't hurdled over those desks to answer that phone!" Everyone including myself was laughing. In the fall of that year the elevator was done, and there was a student going there who used a wheelchair! I was so happy. I went to school that October to see my friend Mike get crowned for the Homecoming King (Warrior Chief the 48th), and was able to ride that elevator to the reception. It made me a little vaklempt! I was glad that barriers were let down so that all different kinds of people could experience the great times at Daniel Webster High!

Photo from http://www.bestoftulsa.com/

Thanks for taking the time to read, Miss S

SR'S 92- PROM, "Pretty in Pink"

From the beginning days of high school when I was just a little freshman I thought about my senior prom. What would it be like, what would I wear, would I have a date? Up until my senior prom I had seen some of my friends, and my brother go to prom and wonder what it was like for them. I did not have high expectations of even going in the beginning. I pictured myself falling on a decoration piece, spilling some thing on myself, or being asked by a policeman to walk a straight line! The summer before my senior year ever began a friend of mine named Steve tells me that when time rolls around for the prom if I need a date that he would love to take me. Steve was a counselor at summer camp, and had known him for several years. He was a great friend, and someone I felt comfortable with. He was a 24-year-old law student at the time, owned a fitted tux, and had a convertible! He always told me that he was just my backup in case I got no other offers. I was thrilled that he offered. So that was always on my mind, and was a weight off of my shoulders. As time got closer my friend Waco asked to me if I would go to the Prom with Alex if he asked me? I was completely shocked. Alex was a cool guy, and I enjoyed being around him. He always had me laughing. But I immediately got nervous, because I did not know what kind of expectations as my date he would have for the prom. It seems very stupid, but you hear stories about after prom parties??? He never led me to believe he wouldn’t be a gentleman, but other than at school or school functions I had never been around him. I did not know much about him personally. So my answer to Waco was, "Have him ask me, and I will tell him." Waco knew about Steve being a backup date. So I do not know if or what he said to Alex, but he never did come and ask me. He probably couldn't except a rejection from the little disabled girl! This was my thought, although I do not know what I would have even said to him if he did ask. That is one of them what if questions I have in my life, but I have absolutely no regrets in what did occur. But get this, a couple of weeks after prom a whole bunch of us were at our local hangout (Mazzio’s) celebrating the victory of a basketball game. Someone raised a question about how this one guy was treating his date like a piece of meat at the game asking if anyone else saw it? Alex said, " I did, and I would never treat a girl like that ever!" From that point on I had a crush on Alex! Go figure! Okay, back to the prom. My best friend from ninth-grade, Kari, let me borrow one of her formals. She had like five of them to choose from. They were all really nice dresses, but which one do I choose? The oldest one from a prom she went to in 1986! Hello, it was 1992 Stephanie!!! Leave it to me. It was pink with ruffles and lace. I was big into pink at the time so cut me some slack! It was not horrible. But anyway, I went to Nine West to get crazy pink shoes, and accessories. I had called Steve, and told him that if the offer was still good I would love for him to be my date to the prom. So it was all set. I went to my hairdressers (Keeta’s) to get my updo for the evening, and my nails manicured and painted pink. When Steve came in to get me he looked very handsome in his tux, and was grinning from ear to ear! I never saw Steve without a smile. He bought me a pink corsage, and helped me to put it on my wrist. I felt "Pretty in Pink!" (One of my fave movies!) I would have made Molly Ringwald jealous! My aunt had came over with her video camera to record us as we were driving off in his convertible w/ the top down. I brought my wheelchair for I knew it would be a whole lot easier for Steve to push me rather than trying to help me walk in my pink dress and crazy pink shoes. I knew the main problem for that evening was going to be my crazy pink shoes! They were a ballet type of shoe with no heel but they were harder than all get out to keep on. I just knew that those crazy pink shoes were going to cause me so much trouble. We headed off to a really nice restaurant where we had reservations. It just happened that there were also some friends of mine there for dinner before the prom so we got a big table and all sat together. Steve had ordered a beer, and I do not blame him at all. I would have bought him one if he didn't get one already! The dude was 24, had just taken the bar exam, and was sacrificing his Saturday evening with a bunch of teenagers (all for me, God love him)! That would have been enough to drive me to drink as well!! So we get to prom. It was at the Petroleum Club in downtown Tulsa, Okla. The theme was Treasure Islands, and the tables were neatly decorated with treasure boxes, pearls, and costume jewels. We ended up dancing to two different slow songs, "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton and "The Dance" by Garth Brooks. On both of these songs Steve helped to me to stand. I never did fall. Shown below, is the picture that we took together while there. It is a really good picture of me standing. The crazy pink shoes behaved themselves quite nicely which surprised me even though they still managed to fall off a few times. God was definitely watching over me and my crazy pink shoes that night! As we were leaving we were given champagne flute's with the date and title of the prom theme on it as souvenirs. In the attempt to abolish drinking and driving Sonic Drive-In gave out coupons for free large soft drinks to every person at the prom. Do you think it worked??? That was our first stop after we left the prom! I probably got my fave which is DP, and Steve got a vanilla DP. I remember him getting that because the server guy over the intercom made a big deal of the fact that his DP would cost 10 cents because of the vanilla in it. We were laughing! My friend Bubba was having an after prom party at his church. The church had a big theater room were they rented movies and had tons of snack food. That is where we headed. About six other couples joined us there. They rented three movies We stayed for the first movie (Uncle Buck, it was ok), and half of the 2nd one (Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead, was good and have seen the whole thing tons of times now). Steve had a long drive home so we did not stay, but we were there till 2 in the morning. As we got to my house he walked me inside. I gave him a BIG hug, and he kissed me on my cheek!! He made the prom a wonderful memory for me. I would love for you to share your story about your prom, formal, or similar event.

After prom, for several years we did keep in contact with one another. He was a very busy and successful lawyer with his own law firm in Bartlesville Okla. After moving to Texas when I was almost 20 we lost contact with each other. In February of this year after about 12 years of no contact I found myself thinking a lot about him so I gave him a call. I spoke to his mother who informed me that he was no longer with us as of late August 06. He had a long hard battle with leukemia. I still cannot believe it. It makes me so sad that I did not make myself stay in contact with him. Life can be taken away so easily. So cherish those who are in your life. It doesn't take much to let somebody know that you are in their thoughts.

Thank you for taking the time to read, Miss S