Saturday, February 10, 2007


At the end of May I turned 16 (1990). My brother and I never had parties growing up, but my grandma (dads mom) would always make us a cake, and we would get gifts from the immediate fam. As we got older we would just have a Twinkie, and put a candle in it while the fam would sing to us. Also, we would normally get money for our day to spend on what we wanted. So with money in my hands from the birthday, and from making A’s on my report card (we got a dollar per A!) My cousin Syl and I went shopping at the mall.

My wheelchair had come in that I ordered, so I decided I would use it at the mall, since there would be a lot of traveling. Going anywhere with Syl was great. She had a way of making me feel like I was no different. That is what helped so much for me to be comfortable taking my wheelchair. Beside that it was an awesome candy apple red color, and Syl's Mom wrote my name in calligraphy on the back!

Syl and I had been in the mall for several hours, and was yet to find a piece of clothing to try on. So we stopped at the food court to quench our thirst on a Chick-fil-A soda. We ended up getting a big gulp and sharing it. I am not a big drinker (alcohol or any other kind) but I was thirsty. It did not take long for us to finish the drink. The mall was going to be closing soon, and I had to go to the restroom. So off we went, but on the way there with this outfit hanging in the window and being to cute. It was just my luck that we have traveled every store in the mall and did not find a single outfit to try on except when the mall was ready to close. Not to mention that we were on a mission to make it to the bathroom. But I really liked this outfit. So I had an all important decision to make. I could go to the bathroom, or hold it and go try on the outfit. Syl told me that if I felt I could hold it that we would stop at a station when we left. I was going to her house to stay the night, and she did not live near the mall. I felt as though I could hold it even though I had to go pretty bad. So into the store we went (the store will remain nameless, and the reason you will see) grabbing the outfit, and heading for the dressing room. We had 10 minutes to do this, and anyone who knows me knows it will take more than 10 minutes. With Syl's help I knew I could do it. The pants was the first thing I tried on. They were long, black, with a stirrup style. I was surprised how easy that was to get on. Now comes the top. It was made to look like you had on two blouses. There was material sewn in to the sleeves, bottom, and top of the blouse giving it the layered look. Because the top of the shirt was sewn together so well it was tight getting it on over my head. I lost my balance as it went pitch dark from the shirt being pushed over my head several times with force because it was so tight! I fell against the wall. I hit hard the wall hard, and know the people next to us in the dressing room had to have heard it. I have a tendency at times to laugh when nothing is wrong. I was not hurt, so I began to laugh. Syl quietly told me to be quiet because the people in the next room would get suspicious of what we were doing in there. The visual that took place as I thought of what the people were picturing as they heard the noise on the wall from my head hitting it, and the laughter from the room made me laugh even more. At that moment my kidneys decided to release, and go right down the pair of pants I tried on! I was trying so hard to stop it before it became a stream, but it would not stop. The next plan was to get them off without Syl noticing. So I looked in a mirror quickly, and decided that the outfit was not for me (I wonder why?). She took off the shirt, and while she was hanging it back on my hanger I began taking off my pants. I was also afraid she was going to start smelling it (EEEWWW, I know)! I got the pants off in record time, and told her that I could hang the pants backup. So she let me. We left but not before putting back the outfit on the rack. Syl had no clue as to what just happened. I just wanted to leave quickly. As soon as we made it to the parking garage I started laughing at what I did. Another tip about me is that when I am laughing I cannot do anything else. Syl knowing this does not say a word to me until after I am in the car. She started the car, but would not drive off until she knew why I was laughing. Talking about it made me laugh too. It took her a minute to decode what I was saying, but she did. She couldn't hold back her laughter at that point! She was probably scared thinking that I might finish in her car if she didn't hurry!

So off we went to the Quick-Trip down the street. As we arrived I left my wheelchair in the trunk for it would take too long to assemble, and I still had some business to finish if you know what I am talking about! We go up to the cashier and ask him where his restroom is. He proceeds to tell us that they do not have a public restroom here that it is for employees only. Syl gave him the emergency look mixed with a little deer getting caught in the headlights look, and told him that I was disabled, and really needed to go to the restroom. So to please make an exception. Of course he didn't want to be the bad man who deprived the poor little disabled girl to potty:) So he agreed. After that we had to go by my house so I could change, and then we left. I laugh so hard when I think about this story, and even had a hard time typing it due to laughing!

Moral of this story: Wash everything you buy before wearing it, because you never

know who tried it on or what they did in it!

Thanks for taking the time to read, Miss S


Parisjasmal said...

NO YOU DIDN'T! Girl you are a nut and 1/2. You and Syl have the best stories!

Happy V-day girlie girl!


Anonymous said...

I loved the post about your adventure at the mall and the pants! I don't think I have laughed so hard in a long time. I could not believe you put them back...that is totally what I would have done! Funny stuff. -Mel

Anonymous said...

omg... that is horribly funny! i always wash before i wear something new, and now i am so happy that i do! you have a natural talent for comedic writing! thanks for sending me to bed with a smile on my face! :) love, laura :)

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

OMG !! Rofl this is incredibly funny !! Had fun reading ur lstory !! Love the way u write