MORE SIGNS (Cont., but the final entry for Signs)

The summer before my sixth grade year I ended up not doing majority of the physical activities that I had done before. It all started to become more and more difficult. My confidence level was not the best. I stayed close to home. TV became a great source of entertainment for me. I would still go to the neighbor's house but not as often. This was also the age when boys and girls don't “play together” anymore. I began to hang out with one of the girls across the street. She was about six years younger than me and was still in that play/pretend mode. I was not ready to move on so we would “play together” a lot. She was an awesome friend, and still is. Her whole family was/is great. Transitioning into Middle School for me was very difficult. I went through most of my sixth grade year not being diagnosed yet. Change is so hard for me, and I was taken out of my comfort zone big time. I went to a small Elementary School where you knew everybody. As I began Middle School I found myself in classrooms with other kids that I didn't even know. There were 4 different Elementary Schools that would send their 5th grade graduates to the Middle School. Getting to know a whole new group of kids, and them to know me and my different ways seemed scary. During this time it was not cool to hang around “the drunk” as I was often referred to, because of my lack of balance and coordination. I was holding on to walls or railing even more than before. To get off school grounds from the front you had to walk down a whole bunch of steep steps without railing. I tried it a couple of times, because I am a hard head. It makes me nervous just think about it. I would take it so slow and concentrate so hard. One time my balance was so unsteady that I just sat on the steps to breathe and get my focus back. I did it though, and that made me smile! I also started to show signs of scoliosis (curvature of the spine) which became a target to be called “Hunchback of Notre Dame.” The way you look and act becomes very important during the middle school days. I had problems in both of those areas. I would often sit by myself at lunch, and get teased on a daily basis. Kids can be so cruel, and I would often let it get to me. I became a depressed loner. I was the only student who had physical issues there. I was showing more and more signs that this was more than just something I would grow out of. When other students would ask me why I was clumsy or about my back curving I would tell them that I was hit by a tornado when I was born. This makes me crack up, and they believed me too! There was a tornado when I was born. My Mom said that everyone in the hospital had to go to the basement (I was about two weeks old at this time), but no it did not hit me! If I had known that the kids were going to be so gullible I would have told some juicy stories, like I was raised by a pack of wolves or something! LOL! My mom started back to work, and quit PTA or helping out when I started Middle school. As I think back, my parents wanted to believe what my pediatrician had told them, and not that it could be more. If I were in their shoes I would have done the same. No one wants to think something is really wrong with their child. Especially after the doctor has done some tests and they pointed negative. But it came time when we knew something serious was happening. My pediatrician also agreed, and referred me to a neurologist…. stay tuned to see the results on the next post!

Thank you for taken the time to read,
Miss S